A New Resolve

So David and I had come to the decision that we were done having kids and that we would try and adopt the rest that we were going to have because of the severity and length of my postpartum depression.Then the other day we were talking about it and have decided that we will have more. and that we can endure the challenges and overcome the ideas that we had previously been having. But one of the conditions we have decided on is that I have to lose some weight first because it is so hard on my hips. so here I am trying to lose weight so we can have another baby. and I think,"do I really want to go through all this again? Children are such miracles and are so worth it, right? Can I still be the kind of mother I need to be with another child and at least another 2 years of depression?" I mean where do all these fears and doubts come from. I need to have greater faith! A dear friend of mine said to me,"You never know maybe the next baby will fix all the hormone problems and you will not have depression anymore." I need to have that kind of faith. but at the same time it is probably easier to think those kind of things when it is not you having to face the challenge. On the other hand...I have a couple of other friends who have been trying for years to have children of their own and I feel totally horrid for taking that blessing for granted. what kind of person am I for not overlooking the challenges and embracing the fact that I can get pregnant and have my own babies?
So the whole point of breaching this whole frame of mind is that I have joined a walking group. And we started walking this morning. it is a great motivation for me to resolve to get my life in order. I have started to plan my summer mornings already. I am going to wake at about 530 and read scriptures,Then go work in my garden (we just tilled it Saturday)then get the kids ready and go walking at 830 it takes about 2-2 1/2 hours, then we come home and Tarren takes a nap.
It is a really good walk with 2 playgrounds for the kids to stop and play at. I am really excited about this. and it ends with a nice steep hill so we get our strength workout in also.

Skinny Ronnie Here I come!!

April first

So this was a strange year for me. Yesterday was not April First, or April fools day because it was a Hop year. that is a year when you can't get your visiting teaching done so you add and extra day to March. So it is quite a bummer having given March 32 days I lost the most wonderful april fools day...thus I was unable to play any pranks on anyone. such a sad year. No more Hop Years for me!!!